Q: A former student asked me to play for her wedding. Should I charge? If so, should it be my normal fee?

"Honored and privileged: two words I’d use to describe my feelings of being asked to provide the music for the most important day in anyone’s life," says Penny Howk Beavers.

“Honored and privileged: two words I’d use to describe my feelings of being asked to provide the music for the most important day in anyone’s life,” says Penny Howk Beavers.

Honored and privileged: two words I’d use to describe my feelings of being asked to provide the music for the most important day in anyone’s life. And to be able to do this for a former student is a gift to us both.

My references are, for the most part, students who have studied with me for years and years—in many cases since they were very young right through high school or college. So I was not only a harp teacher to them, but a mentor in life as well, and eventually a family friend too. To these students, I could never charge a fee for my services. I always said, “Please consider this my wedding gift to you.”

We’ve all had many, many students throughout the years of teaching. Some continued for years and others fell by the wayside after a few lessons, a few months, or a year or so. Had I ever been asked by one of these students, I’m sure I would not hesitate to charge my regular fee.

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I had one student whom I taught from age 7 thru 19. A year later, she couldn’t wait to surprise me with the announcement of her engagement and upcoming wedding. The first thing she asked me was for the phone number of another former student of mine, who had become a working harpist, so she could hire her to play for the ceremony. I was shocked and disappointed until she then asked me to be escorted down the aisle as her “second” mother. Touching? Oh, yes!

To conclude, the gift is not only being a teacher but helping to bring joy to the life of my student.
—Penny Howk Beavers, freelance harpist and Treasurer of the AHS Foundation
Cambria, Calif. 

Bircher, Mary

” A relationship with a student is first and foremost a business relationship,” says Mary Bircher.

I’d first like to say that as professional musicians we should never feel obligated to give away our musical services. Each of us has invested much time and money into our profession. We’ve paid for lessons, purchased an instrument and all the necessary accessories, purchased music, acquired a harp car, and spent countless hours practicing, often sacrificing personal and family time along the way. I can’t say it enough—what we do has tremendous value!

Harp music at a wedding is a wonderful, lovely offering that completely sets the mood of the event. A relationship with a student is first and foremost a business relationship. Even though we often develop close personal friendships with our students, things work best if our business lives and personal lives are kept separated.

That said, I have, on a few rare occasions, offered my music at a student’s wedding as my gift. I have also occasionally offered a small discount in wedding music fees to a student. I have done this only when I truly wanted to give away my musical services with no strings attached. I made these decisions based on my relationship with the student as well as the date and location of the wedding. I personally would not be able to give up a prime wedding date (such as a Saturday in June) or incur additional travel expenses for a non-paying event.

I’ll say it once again: do not let anyone or any situation make you feel obligated! We are worth every penny that we charge!
—Mary Bircher, Principal Harpist of the Omaha Symphony, teacher, and a clinician at the Midwest Harp Festival
Omaha, Neb. 

Amy Wikins

” I’m always pleased to be asked by family and friends to be included in their special occasions,” says Amy Wilkins.

Assuming that I’m available, I would be delighted to play for a former student’s wedding at no charge. I’m always pleased to be asked by family and friends to be included in their special occasions. (Aren’t you a teeny bit disappointed if they don’t ask?)

I have such fond memories of so many wonderful students and their supportive families. As teachers, we have invested time and energy in encouraging our students’ interest in the harp and guiding them in their journey to become better musicians. We hope that each one will realize their full potential, whatever their level of ability or ultimate ambition. It is a challenge to have such a responsibility for these developing young musicians, but a pleasure and privilege to be part of the process.

However, if I was not entirely comfortable with the request and felt that I could not happily donate my time, I don’t think that I would charge. I would simply be unavailable. As a freelancer and pinch-hitter sub in Los Angeles, I rarely know my schedule very far in advance—unlike those brides planning their 2016 nuptials.

But, hey, former students—if I can swing it, I’ll be there! Guess what you’re getting for a wedding present? •
—Amy Wilkins, freelance harpist for orchestra, theater, ballet, and recording work
Studio City, Calif.

Coming Up
How do you handle an inebriated guest when playing at an event?

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